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Just Passing Time

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(I'm still screaming)

[28 Aug 2003|10:25pm]
Ive got a new LJ namer:

ForEmoPressHere


hahahahahaha...
me and chelsea are the shit.
so if you want to read me.
thats the news.

(5 screams | I'm still screaming)

YOURE NOT HERE, so where are you now? where where where. [26 Aug 2003|10:46pm]
[ mood | high ]

....a
pill
to
make
you
numb.....






welllllll now.
my head feels better.
hahahahaha.
moms who wont take thier kids to the doctor=suck.
thats why kids use other means of pain relief.
like saying "FUCK YOU"
for example
or if youre a stupid shit like me you take some pain killers.
and then you think all the bad thinks that you dont wanna think.
like about shitty guys.
because guys=suck.
ecspecially ones that suck.
meghan rukes though.
cause im her mom now and shes mine.
and thats sweet.
hahahhaha

(5 screams | I'm still screaming)

READ! importante. [26 Aug 2003|04:24pm]
HEY

this is seriosuly important...

EVERYBODY should search their ENTIRE computer

(Start menu: Search : For Files or Folders)

for this file: JDBGMGR.EXE

its a little teddy bear icon.
if you have it on your computer go to EDIT: SELECT ALL and then FILE: DELETE

its a virus, and it travels through e-mail and I had it so if ive senty you email YOU ahve it and LOT of other people have it so you should all check either way if ive sent you email or not. it take 14 days for the virus to infect so...yyeah. check.

dont sya i didnt warn you


yep.

(1 scream | I'm still screaming)

you dont care about how i feel, i dont feel it anymore. [26 Aug 2003|03:57pm]
[ mood | sore ]

i swear to god i have a tumor.

all i want to do is lay down and make the entire left side of my head and neck feel better but instead i have to clean out my car.

chels and i were lsitening to Toxicity today and talking about how ALL sophmore year this was the ONLY thing we ever listened to.
ha.
too bad sophmore year is gay, and so is junior year, and so is this year, and so are you.

im tired.
i have a tumor.
and i just want to feel better about something

(4 screams | I'm still screaming)

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK YEAH [25 Aug 2003|03:11pm]


POISON THE WELL.
CHELSEA
KT
ME




MSI
CHELSEA
KT
MEGHAN
MIKE
MATT
JOW
BRNADON
MATT
ME



FUCK YEAH
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YEAH!
we are WAY better than YOU.
cause we're going to TWO kick ass shows.

(I'm still screaming)

[25 Aug 2003|03:05pm]
[ mood | playful ]

taco bell makes some girls have to poop.
but not me...................


and everybody should call my phone and listen to chelsea and i's fantastic new answering machine message.

and i really want someone to come o my house and ask my mom if i can come out and play.

"why dont you play with this san JesS?"
"because im not gay."

TO THE WINDOW
TO THE WALL

(1 scream | I'm still screaming)

And I dream to heal your wounds, but I bleed myself [21 Aug 2003|10:30pm]
[ mood | drained ]

The Mirrors Lie
Those Aren't My Eyes


And All The Time
I Tried
To Let You Know
/D/i/s/c/o/m/f/o/r/t/
Comes Clearly
When I Shout
Sometimes You See Right Through Me



long days alone with his shame
fanning the flames of desire
his heart breaks as his memory plays
images of her betrayal
wrong way his mind in a rage
never know what he could do


And if this is what it takes
Just to laugh with my mistakes
And live with what I did to you
All the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
It's 11:11
And now you wanna talk
It's not hard to dream

did you know i miss you?


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I've waited here all too long...
im done.
i lose.
im done.

(2 screams | I'm still screaming)

i dont want to be seen as a pretty thing, cause tis the pretty things we're always breaking [21 Aug 2003|04:04pm]
[ mood | sad ]

good thing i got into a car accident.

that just about sums up my week.
i need a seriously good hug.
or something
maybe i should start believing god.
someone seriously help me to just not care anymore.
cause i just cant take it.




i lose.

(I'm still screaming)

lie to me and say its going to be alright. [20 Aug 2003|10:04pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

i hate that things arent the way that they were
i never said ANYTHING
i never fucking said i was sorry
i never fucking said i love you
i never said please cheer up
all you did was say how i was hurting you
and i never fucking said anything.
i am...i hate myself.
and nobody understands how this feels.
im so fucking stupid

(I'm still screaming)

she'll do anything you want when you are leaving, that is anything you want until you stay... [20 Aug 2003|02:52pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

i grew up slow on the heels of the rest
left my heart back at home
..carried you in my chest
i dont feel like crying today
why cant we talk for a while?

and breathe breathe deep for me

projects are lame.
like some people i know.
i put pigtails in my hair
and i feel like i'm six years old.

its windy...brr...

i feel so pessimistic lately goddamnit.
maybe its just cause i had no one to talk to during the fire drill.
maybe its just cause im halfway retarded. thanks mom.

and im spent.

(4 screams | I'm still screaming)

[19 Aug 2003|03:13pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

singing in front of a bunch of people is scary.

kt is on her way over
and Gregory A. is at my house.
weird.

oompa.

(I'm still screaming)

[18 Aug 2003|09:44pm]
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.
someone please come pick me up.

(1 scream | I'm still screaming)

[18 Aug 2003|06:41am]
[ mood | tired ]

s
l
e
e
p
.





bleh.

(1 scream | I'm still screaming)

good man, great man [15 Aug 2003|12:02am]
[ mood | scared ]

i am the world's biggest retard.




but besides that:

Freddy vs Jason scared the fucking shit out of me and now i cant sleep.
hooray.
someone should come hug me and tell me its okay and that i dont have to be scared of the dark because i am right now.
someone to wisk me away.
someone
unlike
anyone.
someone
unlike
you.


sean denison and elliott sharp are sweet. cause they're up late and talking to me.
and im cool with a k.

(2 screams | I'm still screaming)

woo hoo caller id on a cellphone... [14 Aug 2003|03:26pm]
[ mood | numb ]

w
o
o
.



i like dirty looks.




whose going to see freddy vs jason tonight?
me.

whose going to get lots of love?
me.

whose going to poop on your face?
me.

good god damn.
i just dont care about nothin no more.
i guess thats kinda of nice.
whats to care about anymore?
nothing.
woop it up.

(2 screams | I'm still screaming)

shut the fuck up... [13 Aug 2003|11:25pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Sometimes my thoughts go astray and i lose my place.
i drift inside outer space and drink up the milky way,
you can see traces of it in my face as i kick back and relax in a galaxy far far away...
but my doctor said "you know your fucking crazy i mean youre awfully lazy and your purpose on this plants kinda hazy, if you just kept that reciept you could take that brain that you bought back get that train of thought back on track while eating some over prescribed prozac. "
Doctor i confess! i live IN sanity and i'll be there if you need me! so you should know before your greedy HMO decides to bleed me that i know your forty and your slip is showing and i know youve blown your own treaty!
JUST GIVE THEM ALL PILLS KEEP THAT RIOT QUIET! keep them safe and warm inside that norm
FUCK THAT
i'll allow the crowd to think that i'm too proud,
excuse me i was just thinking out loud...
I THINK THEREFORE I AM! a philosipher said one time.
drawing a line between body and mind but before he asked the damn question everybody was FINE
what a crime! how fast the dumbass masses go blind just to pass the time..
i think loud therefore i am loud... to get the thought out...
but back in class my sorry ass got bought out conform to the norm of the silence within my shell.
educating? its more like salavating.
"color within the lines Jess or youre not going to pass the course, and what the hell is that supposed to be it doesnt even look like a horse!thats it you get a D- " another example of the schoolboard's finest...
but so many people around here it makes it hard to get it out

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<fontsize=1>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Sometimes my thoughts go astray and i lose my place.
i drift inside outer space <b>and drink up the milky way,</b>
you can see traces of it in my face as i kick back and relax in a galaxy far far away...
but my doctor said <i>"you know your fucking crazy i mean youre awfully lazy and your purpose on this plants kinda hazy, if you just kept that reciept you could take that brain that you bought back get that train of thought back on track while eating some over prescribed prozac. "</i>
<font size=3>Doctor i confess! i live IN sanity and i'll be there if you need me! </font>so you should know before your greedy HMO decides to bleed me that i know your forty and your slip is showing and i know youve blown your own treaty!
<b>JUST GIVE THEM ALL PILLS KEEP THAT RIOT QUIET!</b> keep them safe and warm inside that norm
<i>FUCK THAT</i>
i'll allow the crowd to think that i'm too proud,
<font size=1>excuse me i was just thinking out loud...</font>
<b>I THINK THEREFORE I AM! </b>a philosipher said one time.
drawing a line between body and mind but before he asked the damn question everybody was <i>FINE</i>
what a crime! how fast the dumbass masses go blind just to pass the time..
<font size=4>i think loud therefore i am loud...</font> to get the thought out...
but back in class my sorry ass got bought out conform to the norm of the silence within my shell.
<font color=red>educating? its more like salavating.</font>
<b>"color within the lines Jess or youre not going to pass the course, and what the hell is that supposed to be it doesnt even look like a horse!thats it you get a D- " </b> another example of the schoolboard's finest...
but so many people around here it makes it hard to get it out
<fontsize=1>it sounds like when you found it that you drown it in your doubt</font>

fuck it, i allow the crowd to think that i'm too proud...
cause im thinking out loud...

<font size=4>are you programed to speak? <b>no i guess not.</b> </font>




<font size=1>

im
not
fucking
stupid.
i'll have everybody know.
so fuck you guys.
this makes me a little mad yes it does.
le sigh...</font>

(1 scream | I'm still screaming)

and now, a word from the president... [13 Aug 2003|02:23pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

and i was like yeah whatever.....









la dee da
fuckk yoohooohooo.

ow.

(I'm still screaming)

what the--? [12 Aug 2003|10:21pm]
[ mood | high ]

tonight was craaaaaaaazy

i dont even know whats going on!

weird.
weird weird.

weird chain of events.
woooooooooooooooooo....shower.
i miss katie bo baity
come back!

(I'm still screaming)

forget you, forget you alot. [12 Aug 2003|02:14pm]
[ mood | in the mood to forget ]

get over it
i says to my self
just fucking get over it.

and im working on it.
1..2..3..go.

bleh...thanks meghan for calling me and waking me up to see if i was okay.
i love you.

im gonna eat and shower and put on happy music and force myself to be happy.
fuck this and fuck you.
i can do it.
i will win.
forget everything about you.
forget it alot.

(2 screams | I'm still screaming)

fuck this fuck you fuck everything. [11 Aug 2003|10:28pm]


FUCK


who wants to try dieing?
::raises hand::
i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you

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